This week Museum employee Terence Tang shares what growing up in the ‘70s was like for him and how he parents his teens today.
Terence Tang
Senior Exhibit Designer
Parent to two teens
Two things I learned from my parents:
“I grew up in the ‘70s when chores were a necessity and allowance didn’t exist. At an early age, I was fascinated with car window wipers and squeegees. They were magical in removing water and made windows nice and clean. At around 4 years old, I recall drawing on the dew-covered windows with my fingers and then palms. That was the beginning of my first paid job. My mother would give me $.05 per window to squeegee the morning dew off. ‘If you’re drawing on the windows, you might as well clean them too!,’ she said.
Probably since I had my first job wiping the morning dew from the windows, I learned about work ethics from both of my parents: ‘If you’re going to do something, do it right the first time and do a good job at it!’ For the window-wiping job, my mother would always point out where I didn’t squeegee or areas that were messy. She made sure I earned it. She would show me how to squeegee the windows and what she thought was acceptable for me to do. I copied her and earned my wage.
I recall a time when I was tasked to pull nails from a pile of fence boards (I’m thinking I was around 5 or 6 years old). My father never threw anything away and always recycled/repurposed things. I was tasked with pulling nails out of boards and my dad showed me how to take each nail, tap them on the side with a hammer to straighten them, and then organize them in piles (different sizes).
It was this seemingly mundane task that I learned a lot about doing a job well done. My dad would interrupt me numerous times and re-show me how to bend the nails back as straight as possible. Maybe I enjoyed the challenge because I did my absolute best to make the straightest nails possible. I also learned not to yank the nails out of the boards too forcefully, because that meant I had more work to straighten the nails. There had to be a balance, otherwise, I was making more work for myself.”
How do you think your style is similar and different from your parents’ style?
“When it came to higher education, my parents seemed to know what was best for me and my two older brothers. At least, that is what I succumbed to and accepted. My father dictated our careers as engineers. He is a retired civil engineer, my oldest brother is a civil engineer/water resources and my middle brother got his degree in mechanical engineering/aerospace engineering but is now working in civil engineering/water resources, too..
To make a long story short, I had two semesters left to graduate in civil engineering and quit. I changed my major to industrial design (product design), which was taught through the art department at San Jose State University, and I never looked back. It’s through my struggles and challenges in life and engineering that I learned to pursue a path full of passion and happiness.
What’s different is I’m listening and really observing my kids’ interests. I’m not dictating what they do. I’m merely guiding them based on their interests. I don’t want my kids doing something/studying they’ll regret later on. But I believe they’ll need to explore a lot in college and figure things out.
I think it’s important to recognize that times have changed and it’s the parents’ responsibility to change with the times to better understand our children. Understanding and taking interest in our kids’ lives will help them trust in you more. In return, the kids will be more willing to hear what you have to say and open to your suggestions, whatever they may be.”
