Parenting is challenging, rewarding, relentless, and surprising.
by Cecilia Clark
In this article, our staff opens up about parenting and answers this question:
What surprised you the most about parenting?
Margarita Gracian, Volunteer Coordinator & Floor Staff Supervisor.
Children: Two daughters, age 10 and five. Worked at the museum: Four years
I never knew I could worry so much! Before I had children I was very carefree. When my first daughter was born, I began thinking about their upbringing and worrying about the kind of parent I would be. I fretted about their future and how I would set them up for success.
I was also surprised by the amount of happiness their smiles brought to my life — somehow a simple gesture like their smiles meant the world to me. As someone who always questioned and challenged everything growing up- including religion, the thought of a soul was silly. I can gladly say that becoming a parent helped me find my soul and changed the way I looked at the world.
As the volunteer coordinator, I enjoy working with youth and mentoring them, while giving back to our community. I share these values with my children. Being able to link my work with my home life ties everything together and creates a sense of balance for me. I’m truly a better parent because of this connection and couldn’t feel more blessed!
Brian Hames, Associate Director of Visitor Services. Children: One son, 8 months old. Worked at the museum: One year and 3.5 years previously
I think what surprises me most about being a parent, is the endless love that I have for my family that grows every day.
When I first met my wife, Rosie, she was like no one else I had ever met. I immediately knew it was love. When I asked her to marry me, I was head over heels in love. We remained in the honeymoon phase for a long time and I didn’t think it was possible to love anyone more.
Then our son Will was born.
The first time I held him and looked in his eyes, I realized that I hadn’t even begun to realize what love truly was. This surprised me the most. I also discovered that by loving and providing for him, he is learning how to love.
I was fortunate to have caring parents and when I became one, I realized the most important lesson a parent can give a child is the ability to love — themselves and others. I hope that Will remains curious and is creative in the way he loves himself and other people and strives to learn about the world his entire life.
Laura Santos, Program Development Supervisor
Children: One son, age 5. Worked at the museum: 10 years
What surprised me the most about being a parent is the odd situations you find yourself in.
For example, I remember pulling over on the side of the highway to clean my naked child after he had an accident in the car; performing lion dances with him in the front yard for all my neighbors to see (because my child is OBSESSED with lion dancing); driving back and forth to San Francisco just to get him to take a nap; and feeling overcome with pride hearing him tell his friends how Bob Ross is an amazing painter.
I knew parenthood would be a rollercoaster of experiences and emotions, but I didn’t really understand until I had my son.
Every day is full of highs and lows. I dread the battle of getting him out the door for school; the frustration of him crying when I leave, even though I know he’ll be fine, or the sense of pride and sadness when instead he’s excited to enter class and forgets to say goodbye. I feel happy when I see him having fun and a sense of pure love when he snuggles and says, ‘Love you, mama.’
Terence Tang, Senior Exhibit Designer
Children: One son, 13, one daughter,10. Worked at the museum: One year and six months
What I enjoy most about parenting is being surprised by the unexpected and then problem-solving. I then hope my message gets through to my kids — as it’s a never-ending cycle of persistence and reminders.
When my son was in kindergarten, he tried to flush an apple down the toilet. After giving him a “high five,” I explained why what he did was wrong.
I could empathize with him, though, which is probably where the high-five came in because I recalled a story my parents shared. When I was a wee tike, I was playing with a Dixie cup and threw it in the toilet and kept repeating “boat, boat,” while continuing to flush the toilet. Needless to say, the plumber was called to retrieve the “boat” obstruction. Thinking about this incident made me laugh and made reasoning with my son easier.
For me, parenting is a life-long skill that isn’t learned from a book, a class, or watching other parents. Parenting is developed when you and your partner physically, mentally, and emotionally engage with your child’s personality, attributes, and experiences.
My parenting has certainly evolved over time as my kids grow and face new challenges. I learn as they learn.
What has surprised you the most about being a parent?
